A story of surrender

by Dreamfable

Islam basically means surrender. Personally I would like to explain this as letting go of what I (my ego) want and surrender to what Allah wants. I believe that is about same as ET is talking about saying yes to the now. Saying yes to what is.

A little story;

About two years ago our son became ill and at first we believed it to be a minor cold. My son is not a person who will go to the doctor easily but after a while he had no choice. The doctor could not find anything but decided to get his blood checked. My wife already knew that there is diabetes in the family and she was worried. Time went on, but after a few days my wife got a call from the laboratory that my son had to go back to the doctor because they did in fact find out the had diabetes.

Doctors in the Netherlands however seem to be very busy and the assistant believed that there was no urgency. Even though my wife told them that the condition of our son was getting quickly deteriorating. In the morning, when I got back from work, we decided to go to the doctor even though the assistant did not want to give an appointment right away. When we came they were not very happy and told us to wait in the waiting room. Even then the doctor did not recognize the urgency. A few moments later our son lost consciousness.

When the ambulance came they were angry with the doctor, started to put all kind of equipment on him and drove to the hospital quickly. There we were told that if we would have come later our son might have been in coma and there was even a risk of dying. After a few hours at the first aid they brought our son to intensive care. By that time our daughter came from school, wanting to visit her brother. Now, we already knew that my daughter usually faints when she sees blood. What we did not know is that she can not stand the smell of a hospital as well.

So there I was supporting my wife who was extremely concerned and sometimes crying. As it is my job to stay cool in situations like this, I was keeping it all together (strong man), pretending to be in control of the situation. For some reason I went to the corridor, trying to find the nurse, when our daughter came in. While she was a walking next to a nurse and a few steps away from me, I saw her eyes rolling backwards and before I knew it I was standing with my daughter in my hands. The nurse, looking surprised, brought us to a room and there my daughter slowly woke up.

That very moment, while my son was in one room with my wife (Who missed the whole scene), and I was sitting next to my unconscious daughter, was probably the first time in my life that I truly felt the meaning of surrender. No resistance. Accepting that I had no control at all, I felt a strange feeling of emptiness and trust.

The positive in this all is that the experience. In times when things are not going exactly as planned, something in me reminds me of that moment and makes it easier to let go.

This entry was posted in The Armchair and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A story of surrender

  1. Michaela says:

    Thank you Raoef for sharing this touching story…

  2. Glerikud says:

    Thank you. It’s a touching and deep story.

  3. Angelika says:

    Thank you!

    You know, I had a third child. He died in my arms while we were in University Hospital amongst physcians. None of them realized it.

    Surrender was all I could respond with.

  4. Dreamfable says:

    @ Angelika:

    Thank you for sharing.
    I recognize this.

    Raoef

  5. equiwolf says:

    Thank you for sharing such a moving story of surrender, Raoef.

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