I’m lucky enough to be surrounded by people who forgive my faults and flaws as I forgive theirs. I can never hold a grudge for very long because I know how it feels to make mistakes look inside myself and explore what happened, what triggered my anger, or my fears and how I can help make it less likely to happen in the future.
I’m working on accepting myself as I am, including the part of that that gets angry and sometimes loses control of that anger.
When I think about all the mistakes I’ve made in that regard, and especially when I feel myself starting to get lost in the shame and regret, I remind myself that if that me that I’m ashamed of were a friend of mine, I’d be able to forgive her.
I’d also be able to look on her flaws with compassion and understanding. I’d understand that she still has some work to do on her faults, and that she’s doing the best she can.
In those moments, I remind myself that if I can feel that kind of compassion for someone else, I can feel it for myself.
When you’re in the throes of self-hate, regret, or shame, accept it: breathe in the pain of every other person who struggles with that same problem, and breathe out healing and love, for all . This can remind you that you are not the only one who is imperfect.