I finally have an answer why the divorce rates are skyrocketing: it is because everyone wants to marry their soul mates.
I never really gave much thought to the idea of soul mates, until one day I found myself being irresistibly pulled to one. And I can assure you, he is the most annoying and stubborn person anyone has ever fallen in love with.
Because this is what happened first: I just fell in love with that person and I still am.
The good news is that in a sense this was never meant to be a normal relationship, like one would get to know each other more closely on a human plane, decide to move on to dating and other levels of relationship building. Frankly, the way we tend to behave with each other, I doubt we would have ever gotten further than a first meeting. Let alone this would have gone any further given all the other boundaries and entanglement of a normal human existence. Indeed, this is a relation of a different kind, on a distance and without the distractions of each other’s everyday life. It is the relationship my soul wanted to have to lift the veil and so it pulled me to initiate it and it pulled me to return to it, whenever I said – that’s enough, I’ve had it, this does not make sense.
And that is the point. This relationship never made any sense on a human level. After a short honeymoon of a complete experience of loving openness, ego moved in and from that moment on it was resistance, fighting and frustration. If it had not been for that continuing sense of a deep connection, I don’t think I had stayed in it for more than a few weeks. But it was like my soul held me there and at some point in time I gave up trying to understand what this was all about, but started to observe myself and notice my thoughts and feelings triggered in reaction to what the other person did or did not do. And then the miracle happened. Over time this nonsensical exchange made me see and realise everything I had to look at in terms of my own conditioning and compensatory patterns. It made me see my father, my mother, my partners, my friends and all relationship patterns I ever adopted. It made me look into the darkest corner of my ego and shone the light of presence on the vermin festering back there.
Angelika once gave me a book “Love and Awakening” by John Welwood and there I found this paragraph: “A soul connection is a resonance between two people who respond to the essential beauty of each other’s individual natures, behind their facades, and who connect on this deeper level. This kind of mutual recognition provides the catalyst for a potent alchemy. It is a sacred alliance whose purpose is to help both partners discover and realize their deepest potentials. While a heart connection lets us appreciate those we love just as they are, a soul connection opens up a further dimension — seeing and loving them for who they could be, and for who we could become under their influence. This means recognizing that we both have an important part to play in helping each other become more fully who we are….A soul connection not only inspires us to expand, but also forces us to confront whatever stands in the way of that expansion.”
This is very much what I experienced. A soul connection – or soul mate – is not necessarily someon you move in with. It is someone you have a deep connection with and it is someone who can show you who you are. If we understood this better, I think we could do something really significant regarding the divorce-rate.
My ego never liked the situation very much. It was against anything it believed in and it tried many times to persuade me to protect my pride or my beliefs. But it was too late – I realised that this connection made me understand what love is all about. And moreover, it taught me to love myself.