Letting go is a process.
Letting go means to become aware of the way we are used to do things and decide to do it differently. Letting go does not mean to just stop doing something – it means a radical change in the way we used to live our life.
The core of the egoic conditioning is “wanting”. We want to be safe, first and foremost, and we want to feel good. So we set out to make sure we find the condition we recognise as “safe” and “pleasurable” all day long. Just observe yourself to become aware of all the little truth-bending, denial and manipulation we do all day long to make sure everything is running smoothly.
We all are master manipulators.
It is the most humbling moment when we become aware of what we are doing to Life and to ourselves. Manipulation is a great effort, it is the process of controlling myself, others, the environment. It takes energy and it begets the need to control even more.
So you don’t believe that you are a master manipulator?
- Are there occasions you are “wearing a mask”?
- Did you ever give a vague or weasel response?
- Did you ever just “change the subject” to digress?
- Did you ever act superior or used sarcasm to put someone down?
- Did you ever tell someone they don’t care enough to make them feel bad ?
- Use your charms to get your way?
- Feign innocence?
- Say an insult was only a joke?
Are you still thinking you are not manipulating yourself and others all day long?
Becoming aware of what we are doing, in its most subtle and discreet ways, is what awakening is about. Learn what you are and be such.
I’m tempted to say….this happens all the time, because I can’t say anything specific about it …..like, “Well I used to be this way or that and now no more.” That should be a clue I guess. Still…
This is ego stuff. Some of it I am identified with, some of it not so much. I guess that is a distinction I would like to be able to make ……when am I reacting, not accepting something or when I find that I have been totally …gone into the outward movement totally unaware of awareness. Not sure what there is to do though except to trust that presence will win out in a way and that ego has no part in that, except an imagined memory of the experience. So what? Drop the evaluator?
Ego can’t help itself in these matters…..it is its normal function to protect itself. It is abnormal, or rather, unbalanced, for the imaginary battles of ego to be all there is…which is called a state sleep or heedlessness. I think.
What doesn’t seem to be a good idea is to pit ego against ego, in oneself. I guess I am a little gun shy of anything that smacks of either guilt or its opposite (is it really opposite except in my mind?) pollyanna ish self delusion….”I am without ego”.
Gently goes it…..seems the way to go? i.e. Do your best and see what happens. I think it must be both more difficult and more worthwhile for those who have perceived power and or influence.