And one day I saw how we are all connected and working together.
For a while I have been able to clearly differentiate when someone spoke or acted from higher consciousness as opposed to their reactive patterns of the conditioned mind. It was maddening, because it was like getting two sets of information at the same time.
On one hand I would evaluate a situation from an egoic position, watching my own reactive patterns and my tendencies to defend my interests. But on the other hand I more and more realised the bigger picture behind it and why people do what they do. Everything that happens is a playing together on several levels and just to focus on what is going on in the world of form, is missing the point completely.
For me it was the end of getting mad at anyone. But I could also see why some people in a process of awakening can get into the habit of taking positions – either the relative side playing out their egoic patterns of resistance and control, or moving to the absolute position to hide and avoid taking action.
I could clearly see how we are beautiful, innocent beings – but at the same time acting like jerks on the level of form. For a while this went on in parallel, as opposed to the usual moving in and out of the different states of consciousness. I could see how spiritual bypassing happens, if we are seeing both sides, but believe we have to fixate on one.
Then something happened that was upsetting. Someone I trusted betrayed our friendship. I felt manipulated, deceived and taken advantage of. It was a situation that clearly asked for me to defend myself, take action and protect my own interest. But suddenly it clicked and it was revealed:
The conscious is the unconscious and the unconscious is the conscious.
I could see how we all are co-operating with each other at all times for the sole purpose of saving each other. We have sacred contracts, we serve each other and we all are acting from a level of consciousness and compassion at all times. This is why everything that happens is what is supposed to happen – which does not mean it could not be wrong.
Only on the level of form we have a choice. And this choice can be clouded by egoic conditioning or driven by higher consciousness. The more we understand how our reactive patterns are working, the more we let go of them – the more we act from our true nature.
What happened to me was a betrayal of trust – but it was also a loud and clear invitation to serve myself, my friend and everyone involved in the light of the occasion. It became perfectly clear how to respond by listening to the true calling behind what has happened on the gross level of form.
My conditioned reactions would have been to defend and protect myself. The action that unfolded in this case was surprising to me and led to an exchange that revealed a lot about my own patterns and attempts to manipulate and control. It led to the insight that I was called to play my part and if I refused to do it, I would let the others down.
And I found out the beauty of getting mad, without getting mad at someone. It is a rush of energy, enabling and motivating action to move from a position of darkness to light. In German we have an expression “holy anger”. This is how it felt like – holy anger, an energy that is not directed to manipulate or control – but to serve.
Holy anger serves Truth, but not the truth of the righteous.