The key to liberation

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

Eckhart Tolle says: „ The present moment holds the key to liberation. But you cannot find the present moment as long as you are your mind”.

Spiritual teachings are pointers and have to be experienced to be understood. To take them literally, or hold on to them, will never get us beyond the signpost. To realise this is a part of the journey. To be free we have to get comfortable not knowing.

Asking questions is another important aspect. Not to get an answer and add more knowledge, but to help us to understand how the mind works, so we are able to go beyond it.

Thoughts and logical thinking are just a tiny aspect of the mind.

The key to liberation is to be found in the present moment. To me it is the realisation that we are not who we think we are. We are not our beliefs or identifications with our thinking or emotions. Thoughts and emotions are just one aspect of consciousness and there is much more to discover.

The key to liberation is not to stop thinking or feeling, it is to realise I am not who I think I am.

Liberation is finding out that we are safe without holding on to the illusion of an imaginary self living in the past or future. It implies to stop worrying about it and to be free really means to be comfortable with not knowing what is going to happen to me or the world around me. To cease the wish to control and to be completely at ease with not knowing who I am, nor where I am going. It means to get out of the driver’s seat and let Life lead us where Life wants us to be.

Eckhart Tolle says: You cannot find the present moment as long as you ARE your mind. He does not say “as long as you are IN your mind”. What that means is to stop being identified with the content of our mind or to rely solely on our logical thinking to make decisions. As long as we are holding on to what is known, what we have learned and what we believe to be true, we will not experience freedom.

Asking questions is a tool to lead us beyond the mind. Not to obtain answers from knowledge and show how smart we are, but asking questions to tap into our own inner wisdom to guide us into the unknown.

All spiritual teachings are merely pointers. All answers are in us.

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Measure for Measure

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

Allow me a few thoughts to start off the subject, because it is a rich one for us to learn and act upon.

I have just been noticing the many calls to support containing the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico and I am taking this as an example to contemplate on the “measure you give will be the measure you get back”.

What is it we really want? Do we want the earth to heal or do we want BP or anyone to fix the gushing oil well, so we can go on with our lives. Honestly….

I am always a little uneasy receiving the calls for sending light and love, intention and affirmations in the direction of what is perceived to be a problem. It is not that I do not think a “good thought could move mountains”, but I am not sure we are having the right thoughts yet.

First of all we have to look at the question whether the gushing oil well a problem? Well, obviously something went terribly wrong and caused what is called the greatest environmental calamity in history. It is a real catastrophe, with over 2 million barrels spilled into the gulf, with very serious and deadly consequences for all life forms in the affected area and far beyond.

So do we think it that the leak should not be there? And do we really believe that sending a few well-intentioned thoughts of light and love is going to fix it? Do we actually believe this is enough?

“The measure you give will be the measure you get back” – what does it mean?

To me it points to my own responsibility creating the mess in the first place. I see an unstoppable, leaking oil well and a developing environmental disaster and I cannot help thinking about my own contributions creating it. Would we have a gushing oil well if we did not rely so much on fossil energy? Are you driving a car? Are you buying kiwis from some far away place and taking a quick plane ride to visit a place some 2000 miles away? Would we have a gushing oil well if we hadn’t voted for politicians to support our current life style, invested in a pension plan, readily believed what the evening news are telling us and overall bought into the division of good and bad, right or wrong?

This is not to emphasise that we should stop doing all these things and support alternative energies.
This is to acknowledge that we actually ARE the problem, and that is neither a lofty spiritual notion nor is it an illusion – it is what is true. Sending light and love around the world is great, but it is nothing but a nice gesture, it is simply not enough. Can you see it ? But then – what can be done in such a dire situation ? Can anything be done at all ?

And I will tell you that a great deal can be done by any of us because what will remedy the issue, is my own willingness to be honest with myself and become aware of how much I still believe any problem in this world is separate from me.

So when we realise that – what is our responsibility? How do I respond to a challenge so enormous, that I rather pretend it is outside of me and makes me feel small, insignificant and powerless.

My responsibility lies in the response to the challenge. And my response has to start with myself by being aware of my own conditioning, attachments, beliefs and my own unwillingness to let them go. The gushing oil-well is a symbol of my own greed in terms of holding on to concepts of the past. I see the world around me falling apart, and still – I am holding on to my little beliefs, concepts, nationality, identity personal interest.

The more I am willing to be aware of my thinking, the more I am willing to let go of the illusion of separation – the more I will turn to doing the right things on the outside and the more I will be getting back of what Life is all about.

And that to me is the meaning of measure for measure.

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Giving is receiving

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

Why is it is more blessed to give than to receive ?

There is no answer yet and I don’t blame you because I could not find one either. Actually, I think it is not true. I hope this is not a terrible heretic thing to say, given this one is a bible quote, but unless someone can give me an explanation for it – well, I just don’t believe it is true.

It occurs to me, that giving and receiving are the same. There is no difference, they are just the two sides of the same thing and you only have to look around, to realize that to give is to receive and to receive is to give.

With each breath in we receive vital energy and in return we give whatever we manifest by the power of our thoughts or produce by the skills of our hands. Life energy enters the body through the breath and is sent to each cell through the circulatory system and together with the energy metabolized from food, a little water and light, the body is fully able to sustain it’s marvellous function and serve us to create our lives. Let us not forget, all life is energy, it is energy that causes all the changes in the material world. However, energy does not disappear, nor is it ever created and what is more is that energy can be converted into matter and matter into energy.

So looking at this principle it is clear: whenever we receive we also give, when we give, we receive at the same time – that is the law of nature and It demonstrates why it would be superfluous to even worry about keeping a balance.

The practical implication of this principle is to simply recognize our attachments and our fear of letting go. Life is inherently safe, it is just not – stable. The implication is to understand the movement of the mind, the obsessive clinging to the known, to what the conditioned mind considers safe, secure and reasonable and to venture beyond it, into the new territory of un-reason and limitless freedom.

So let us observe our giving and receiving pattern, as it is the principle of life and as in ebb and flow, one is inherent in the other. Let us observe our resistance to freely share what we have, knowing in reality we need very little, and remember that the sense of security that we like to draw from our possessions, is nothing but an illusion – and it is not even a very good one, because it will always come with a sense of worry of losing it and having to protect it.

We are not separate. Once we cease to obsessively convince ourselves that we are, we actually have a chance to enjoy living a life in freedom and to create all that the heart can desire.

In continuation of the above, I actually think the following is true. However, what does it mean for our daily lives ?

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged;
do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven;
give, and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

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On Faith

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

It occurs to me that “faith” is another lovely paradox.

If we take the dualistic pair “belief – doubt” then both rely on a mental fixation, or something I “know”.

However, if I look at faith, I do not really find an opposite. Faith is relying on the unknown. It is a sense and it is the pre-requisite to self-reliance. I cannot have faith for anyone else. Nobody can teach me faith. It is coming to me – I am waking up to faith, as I am waking up to life.

Faith has to be stronger than my own survival instinct. It is my rod walking on this journey. I think I got it now…

Even though I walk through the valley
of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil;
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

–Excerpt Psalm 23 —

Faith is what enables us to be relentlessly honest with ourselves.

Why is this necessary ? Because we fool ourselves all the time.

Enlightenment is about letting go of everything we imagine to be true.

That includes suffering and control….just in case you are not clear about it.

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A heavenly communion

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

Beethoven – Cello Sonata No 3 in A major, OP 69 – Glenn Gould & Leonard Rose

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Inner dialogue

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

It seems to me I needed the experience to follow through on something that does not make any sense at all. Just trust it and go along with it. It is an allegory of what I am doing with my life right now – trust it and go along with it, despite my reasonable mind is throwing one fit after the other. To resist one owns reason is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but at the same time never did anything feel so right. I have this inner knowing, this deep inner certainty that it is all right.

And I have a constant inner dialogue like this:

‘You will end up all alone, ridiculous and poor’, says the ego.
‘Oh, really?’ says the self.
‘I am scared shit’ says the conditioned mind.
‘Trust it’ says the gut.
‘Follow me’ says the heart.
‘Be quiet’ says intuition.
‘ ‘ says silence.

…until it starts again. Poor ego. Just wear yourself out….

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I am everything and yet I am not

Posted on August 11, 2010 by Michaela

I am everything and yet I am not.

We may look for the nothing in everything. But it was not before I realised I need to go into the nothing to find everything, I have been able to recognise the vibrant fullness of life.

Nothing is as it appears to be. And in that lies the freedom that wants to be lived.

To live it means to find the loyalty which is an immanent devotion to truth. To live it means to rely on inner strength a the guiding principle. And then It takes tremendous courage to face the fear, the challenges and eventually the full truth about being and that what we are. This is the only thing I pray for, the courage to live out what I recognise to be true, because this is what transforms. And again and again, it is the moment of mistake that leads me to a place that otherwise I would have avoided.

The body gets used to it gradually. It is painful to rip open what has been closed tight and shut down for such a long time, it is blinding to bring it out in the open and let it face the light of the day. But to experience that vivacious energy of life flowing, containing all the fullness, all the love and appreciation for everything there is, to see the stunning beauty around me, to experience that openness – it is all I ever want live for.

I am so glad. And grateful. And humbled.

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The Lotus

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Michaela

The Lotus

First blooming in the Western Paradise,
The lotus has delighted us for ages.
Its white petals are covered with dew,
its jade green leaves spread out over the pond,
And its pure fragrance perfumes the wind.
Cool and majestic, it raises from the murky water.
The sun sets behind the mountains
But I remain in the darkness, too captivated to leave.

–Ryokan–

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Fear points to our greatest strength

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Michaela

Fear is much more complex than just a thought or a pattern. Fear is an emotion, an intrinsic process triggered by a more or less conscious perception and it’s subsequent interpretation. I think there is an instinctual component to fear (basic survival mechanism) as well, something like an inherited conditioning we carry in our genes. To use an analogy, fear to me works like a surveillance system wired to a highly alert response team. Something is perceived as being a threat, that leads to an activation of the alarm system and the response team is coming to the rescue.

We have to distinguish the emotion from the reaction. Fear is the initial emotion, it is the alarm going off, but the fight-or-flight reaction that follows is what is generally known as stress response, or panic attack.

A panic attack is a stress reaction, it is not fear itself. It is the alarm bells ringing and this is why cognitive approaches work quite well in cases of conditioned anxiety. That being said, I think with awakening we need to look at a different level of anxiety attacks.

Personally, I did not really have an issue with fear until on my own journey of self-discovery I came upon a level that touched on the subconscious and instinctual survival mechanisms. The first one had to do with learned conditioning from childhood experiences, associated with a deeply rooted fear of loss and separation. Observing what was happening in myself, suddenly made the process very clear for me. There was a profound and disturbing memory of being left alone and being vulnerable, that resisted the move towards bringing down the barriers to “hatch out the helplessness inside”, or what Zen calls the intimacy between the self and the ten thousand things. It became clear to me that on this journey we have to walk back the way we came, to be able to correct a basic error that is keeping us in check.

The other movement of fear I experienced with this had to do with the survival instinct of the egoic mind to resist surrender. It became clear to me that instinctual survival and conditioned fear were somehow related and built a wall of protect the false ego.

Fear is a powerful emotion, but fear by itself is just that – a pointer that something may threaten our human form. To be able to separate fear from the conditioning and alarm reaction, allows fear to be what it really is – protection from danger.

Fear points us to our greatest strength and moving towards our greatest fear means liberation.

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Fear is the demon. Fear is the protector

Posted on August 10, 2010 by Michaela

Fear is our protector. Fear is the demon of the past.

In the Vedic philosophy of creation, fear arose in the moment the „I“ came into being. If there is a sense of I, there is also the instinct to protect this I-dentity.

Fear is a primary emotion and it is a survival instinct. Neurobiologically fear is generated in an area of the limbic system of the brain, called the amygdala. This area is basically responsible for integrating information coming in from the outside via the senses, triggering responses throughout its many connections with the central nervous system. It is also responsible for the formation and storage of memories associated with emotional events. Thus it is central for learning and consolidation of short-term into long-term memory.

So fear originally is our protector. It is a sense of caution, that inner feeling of “something is not right” and it its that sudden realisation of danger, that only lasts a moment and it leads to an arousal reaction to make us awake, alert and ready to fight or flee.

Note that the sensation of fear itself may only last few seconds – what we feel being anxious, is nothing but inner resistance, or a continued stress reaction of the body to whatever causes us to be “in high alert” or “avoidance”.

This kind of fear does not serve protection, but is anticipating that something may be going wrong. “The worst things in my life never happened”, said Mark Twain and this is what is describing best our anxiety, worry or dread of future events. The reason for this is fear of loss, being afraid of letting go of something. What we are protecting is not our physical self, but something we have come to desire literally as much as our own life.

Paying attention to fear is an important practice. Fear is protecting the “false self” and sensing fear, seeing and listening to it, recognising it and finally understanding it, does eventually lead us beyond fear, which in that sense may be even synonymous with ego.

Fear is the protector, the gatekeeper, the barrier. Fear is what is keeping us alive, but it is also what is keeping us in samsara, forever suffering being stuck in the painbody or the illusion of the egoic mind.

We have to learn how to work with fear to go beyond it.

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