It seems to me I needed the experience to follow through on something that does not make any sense at all. Just trust it and go along with it. It is an allegory of what I am doing with my life right now – trust it and go along with it, despite my reasonable mind is throwing one fit after the other. To resist one owns reason is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but at the same time never did anything feel so right. I have this inner knowing, this deep inner certainty that it is all right.
And I have a constant inner dialogue like this:
‘You will end up all alone, ridiculous and poor’, says the ego.
‘Oh, really?’ says the self.
‘I am scared shit’ says the conditioned mind.
‘Trust it’ says the gut.
‘Follow me’ says the heart.
‘Be quiet’ says intuition.
‘ ‘ says silence.
…until it starts again. Poor ego. Just wear yourself out….