Autumn
What is this fear of awakening all about ? What is so scary about letting go of old beliefs and living one’s full potential?
Indeed. Why rather hold on to suffering, to pain and frustration than simply – change?
Just think of real life examples – the difficult relationship, the addiction, the physical pain, the chronic disease, the frustrating job, the irritating friend…and so on. So why are we hanging on to it?
The answer is, we are hanging on because we don not like uncertainty. If we knew, a change would bring about the desired results, would we hesitate? The problem is – we do not know the outcome, and what we fear the most, is to give in to uncertainty. This is where fear is coming in. It is the fear of losing control, no less. For example, I can be in a very bad relationship – still, I do have control over the reaction of the other person. This is called co-dependency and for every offender, there is a victim and for every victim is an offender. To give up this piece of control is very difficult, because what it requires me to do, is to surrender and trust life to lead me where I am supposed to go.
The name of the fear associated with the uncertainty of change is humiliation. What will people say, if I break free, leave my job, my partner, stand up for myself, change the way I am doing things. What will people say, if I change in ways that are unprecedented, unpredictable, not “what is expected” of me. Will I be ridiculed, end in poverty and lose everything, that is making up my “identity” ?
The good news about it: There is nothing to worry. Awakening is like the sun coming through the clouds. At some point, one does not care so much about what the others think. All I want is to live the truth.
But it is useful to enquire into the hang-ups that keep us from making the necessary changes now, in order to live a congruent and happy life. Any disturbance, any sense of annoyance, any feeling of contraction – welcome it as a friend.
Welcome the unease. Embrace it. Hold it gently. This is what letting go is all about.
Yes……….humiliation. The poor souls who have been humiliated. Seen it many times in my life. I don’t want that to happen to me! (cries the ego)
What I’m beginning to See for myself as I change the way I’ve always done things is that it’s not such a big deal (outwardly). No one probably even notices. But I notice…………this sense of peace, harmony. Very subtle but very profound.
It feels as though change is getting easier for me and when I repeat an old dysfunctional behavior, my mind is unable to create a bunch of drama around it. I accept this ‘bad’ behavior for what it is more readily……….not that important and part of my Awakening. ahhhhhhhhhhh so nice!