On Fear & Faith

Lobau, Danube Auen National Park Vienna

“Only drowning men could see him”

This is a line from the beautiful Leonhard Cohen song  ” Suzanne” –  a song about faith and “the belief in the unseen”.

And Jesus was a sailor, when he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower.
And when he knew for certain, only drowning men could see him,
He said: “All men will be sailors then, until the sea shall free them.”    

Whoever experienced a situation that challenged the “survival instinct” will be finding out that the “witness” only exists up to a certain point. It shows perfectly who the “witness” actually is – the awareness of the conscious mind. The witness is providing insight and experience, allows for integration or dissociation of reactive pattern, and overall is providing the understanding for “ the observer is the observed”.

But there may be an intense level of fear to “go beyond the witness”, into the nothingness of being.

Being on a journey of self-discovery, we are going through many stages. Observing our thoughts, our emotions, and the reactions to it. Understanding our more or less conscious identifications and free ourselves more and more from the baggage. Being the observer is a tool to find “the barriers inside” and to monitor the state of acceptance to “what is” in this very moment. Being the observer and to understand that the “observer is the observed”, is learning to swim with the help of a lifebelt.

It takes faith, the belief in one one’s ability and the inherent safety of all that Life is, to finally let go of the lifebelt. And then there may be a moment of fear, we may grasp for safety, but it is gone. And then we suddenly notice that we are actually swimming – and finally taste the sweetness of freedom.

All of the above is the reason to familiarize ourselves with the meaning of “not knowing”. “Not knowing” to the mind means death, but “not knowing” is what Life is all about. This to me is the same kind of paradox like “free will” or “do nothing”. It does not mean what one would assume just superficially skimming over it.

It really provides great insight to reflect on the meaning of these “concepts”, because to me they all point to the same – the joy of surrender.

And we actually don’t need to go and drown ourselves to see it.

About Michaela

I am a wanderer and a wonderer, like you are. I love our journey and to walk in the company of friends – to learn, experience, share, laugh, cry and above all I simply love this marvelous, magical, mysterious life. I have no plan (cannot believe I am saying this) and my only intention is to be truthful to myself and others.
This entry was posted in The Window Seat and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to On Fear & Faith

  1. Sheila says:

    My path and your words seem to be walking simultaneously. 🙂
    “It takes faith, the belief in one one’s ability and the inherent safety of all that Life is, to finally let go of the lifebelt. And then there may be a moment of fear, we may grasp for safety, but it is gone. And then we suddenly notice that we are actually swimming – and finally taste the sweetness of freedom.”
    For me, the time between the ‘moment of fear’ to ‘noticing (I am) swimming” and the ‘sweetness of freedom’ seem to be happening in ‘clock time’ over a period of days/weeks/months. As I become aware that I am actually swimming(!) my Trust is growing and Life is becoming sweeter.
    Thank you once again for your lovely affirmation, Michaela.

    • Michaela says:

      I have the same experience, Sheila. Fear was the last thing I thought I’d encounter, but it is there. Layers of fear and resistance, slowly melting away like a block of ice in the sun. Takes some time….and it goes along with physical symptoms. Took me a while to make the connection. And then slowly you feel the power behind all this contraction and then you realise that this is what you were afraid of in the first place….how strange is that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s