A: Hello T., how are you?
T: I am OK so far. I have been reading John Welwood. Do you remember?
A: Yes, I do. You told me of his books when we met last week. Can I ask you some questions regarding the content of Welwood´s book?
T: Sure, go ahead.
A: Can you sum up what you have read so far?
T: Yes. Welwood refers to a picture from the Indian mythology where the goddess Kali is standing on a dead man´s body holding a white baton in one of her hands.
I can´t remember in which one though. As much as I understood, Welwood uses this picture where Kali stands for the feminine energy or force and the white baton resembles the masculine Yang energy, to point to, that the majority of men are “escaping” from their emotions into thinking/ mind. The white baton in Kali´s hand is a calling to give space to emotions in order to go beyond them.
Welwood explains further, that a newborn baby´s mind is unable to reflect in any way about her/himself or any given situation. The newborn child is totally open.
In most cases the parents are unable to give space to their baby / toddler and hold her / him safely and to allow their experiences to happen.
Since the parents do not know any better they put the baby under pressure by training her/him certain behaviour patterns. Moreover the parents act out of their own personal limitations, which get built in the newborn´s personality. Out of experiencing shock and pain, the baby closes up. The older the child gets, the more she/he develops strategies to avoid pain.
A: Some children compensate the lack of love and affection “with active behaviour” and develop extroverted personalities and others compensate the lack “ with passive behaviour” which means they build up introverted personalities.
Later in life passive behaviour patterns can get easily mixed up with Stillness.
T: Yes, you may be right with this.
Welwood says, that we learn to retrieve via our behaviour patterns the other´s attention and if we are lucky, affection and love. Instead of getting aware of our vertical connection we reach out on the horizontal level for any attention of other personalities.
A: T., you mentioned that men are more or less uneasy with being emotional and turn easily into their thinking mind. Do you have any idea why this is so?
T: Man are dominated by Yang energy. Let´s say, they have access to deeper levels of the collective Yang energy. On this level they learn of the knowing that emotions are “unreal” and merely illusions. Somehow they alienate this knowing into the level of personality (ego) which itself is an illusionary state of consciousness. They confuse being with ego.
Instead of allowing emotions to happen on the level of ego (= level of personality ) in order to accept and go beyond them, they cut them off.
A: Our outside life situation represents our inside settings of our personality.
If a man cuts off his emotions, which represent on the level of form (ego) part of the feminine energy, then he must be rather unable to maintain in his life situation an ongoing relationship with a “real” woman ?
He may have a female being next to him but he cannot become “whole” / “one” with her.
The female being may take any other role like i.e. the one of a mother.
T: Yes. This is why I have preferred not to have a close relationship to any woman for quite a while now.
A: T., how about if men and women could use relationships to assist each other in becoming aware?
T: This for sure is a possibility although I am not sure if I would choose it.
A: Thank you very much for your time and openness
T: You are welcome as always.